Are You Firefighting or Managing?

The Hidden Difference Between a Scattered Life and a Stable One

This is how I discovered my own firefighting modus. I woke up already behind schedule! So I ended up juggling messages, putting out metaphorical fires at work, smoothing over misunderstandings in my relationships, trying to stay healthy, inspired, afloat and just when one crisis ends, here was another one! It felt relentless and never ending. Does this resonate with you also?

I asked myself then: Is this life... or are you just firefighting?

For many of us, life feels like a never ending game of catch-up. But the real question is:

Are we truly managing our lives or are we just reacting to the situations that occur?

The difference between firefighting and managing isn’t in how much you do, but in how you do it.

Let’s explore what it means to live with maturity and authenticity. How do we maintain emotional stability, stay aligned with your passions (without being consumed by them), respond from your highest self and cultivate deep compassion for yourself and others?

The initial focus looks at what firefighting means for us.

Firefighting: Living on the Emotional Roller Coaster

Firefighting is reactive. It's when we allow external events to dictate our internal state. It's rushing from one issue to another without a pause to reflect, understand, or recalibrate.

Emotionally, this is exhausting. It keeps us in a near-constant state of low-level panic. This is what psychologists call “sympathetic dominance.” Our nervous system is on edge and so are we. Life starts to feel chaotic, like we’re trapped on an emotional roller coaster: elated one moment, deflated the next. The energy of this often transfers itself to the people and environment around us.

In this state, passion can turn into obsession. We pursue goals not because we’re called to them but because we’re afraid of what might happen if we stop. We attach our self-worth to outcomes. When things go well, we soar. When they don’t, we crash.

This is not passion—it’s survival mode dressed up as ambition.

I invite you to reflect on the following question and note down your observations: What kind of decision do you think we make when we are in this state?

So then you might begin to wonder how we can possibly manage this situation more effectively.

Management: Responding from the Higher Self

In contrast, managing your life means creating space between stimulus and response. It means observing what’s happening without immediately reacting. It means living with presence rather than pressure.

This is the realm of the higher self. The part of you that is steady, wise, compassionate, and grounded. When you respond from this place, you don’t ignore your emotions. Instead, you acknowledge them without being ruled by them.

When you're managing your life from the higher self:

You create boundaries rather than being swept away by others' expectations.
You choose your battles wisely.
You listen more than you speak.
You move with clarity, not urgency.

Managing doesn’t mean you’re emotionless. It means your emotions don’t hijack your decisions. Rather, these emotions detach themselves from the situations!

The Power of Emotional Detachment (Not Disconnection!)

One of the most liberating steps toward living authentically is learning to detach emotions from situations. This doesn't mean suppressing or avoiding feelings, it means disentangling them from the facts.

For example, someone might cancel plans with you. Firefighting mode may trigger thoughts like, “They don’t value me,” or “I must have done something wrong.” A more mature perspective might be, “They may be overwhelmed or need space. It’s not necessarily about me.”

Detachment allows you to see things as they are, not as your fears paint them.

Try this reflection practice:

Notice the emotion (anger, fear, sadness, etc.).
Label it (“I’m feeling anxious.”)
Question the story: “What else could be true here?”
Respond rather than react.

When you detach from knee-jerk emotions, you start living from your center—not your chaos.

You are wondering what difference might be between helpful passion and emotional turbulence?

Passion vs. Emotional Turbulence

Passion is often romanticised as wild and all-consuming. However, authentic and sustainable passion is steady. It fuels without overwhelming. It aligns you with purpose, not panic.

Ask yourself:

Am I pursuing this goal because it excites and expands me or because I’m afraid of being left behind?
Do I feel energised by this path or do I feel drained and frantic?

Authentic passion invites you into flow. Emotional turbulence, on the other hand, drags you into survival.

A mature life requires distinguishing between the two. It’s not about suppressing passion—it’s about grounding it.

To enable us to do this, it is hugely important that we understand and treat ourselves with love and respect by practising self-compassion.

Self-Compassion: The Silent Anchor

One of the greatest signs of maturity is how you treat yourself when you fall short.

Do you berate yourself for not doing enough, being enough, knowing enough? Or do you extend the same warmth to yourself that you would offer a struggling friend?

Firefighting thrives on self-criticism:

I need to do more; I’m not there yet; Everyone else is managing better

Management, however, invites self-compassion:

I did my best with what I had,
I can learn from this
It’s okay to rest

Self-compassion isn’t selfish or luxury nor is it indulgence. This does also not mean it is all about ME,ME, ME…. It’s sanity and essential. It helps you recover faster, grow stronger and stay connected to your values even when things fall apart.

Compassion for Others: Seeing Without Absorbing

Compassion isn’t co-dependency. You can care deeply for others without taking on their emotions as your own.

When you’re in firefighting mode, others’ stress becomes your stress. You internalize their urgency, their drama, their pain.

A mature and authentic life, however, includes empathetic boundaries. You can listen, hold space, and support others. All without losing your own center.

A helpful mantra:

“I witness their emotions, but I don’t absorb them.”

This protects your peace while still allowing you to show up meaningfully.

From Crisis to Clarity: Practical Shifts - Toolbox

Here are a few daily shifts to help you move from firefighting to managing:

Start your day with intention, not reaction. Before checking your phone or email, sit for 2 minutes in silence. Breathe. Ask: “What energy do I want to carry today?”
Schedule reflection time—even 10 minutes at the end of your day to check in: Where was I aligned? Where did I react? What can I do differently tomorrow?
Practice mindful pauses. When something triggers you, pause. Breathe. Ask: “What would my Highest Self do here?”
Revisit your values weekly. Write them down. When choices come up, use your values—not your fears—as your compass.
Forgive yourself quickly. You’re human. Maturity isn’t about perfection; it’s about returning to your center faster each time.

In Closing: You Are the Manager of Your Inner World - Last words?

Life will always have fires—challenges, surprises, and messy emotions. But you don’t have to live inside the blaze. You can learn to be the calm in the center of the storm. You can stop reacting and start responding. You can live from a place of grounded truth rather than scattered anxiety.