How to Unleash the Child Within..

... and rediscover the carefree, curious side of yourself that enables you to innovate, have more resilience, live a more balanced life and as a result become happier.

In times like these, where fear, chaos, sorrow and confusion are a daily occurrence life tends to become very serious.  Whilst life is to be taken serious since we only have one, it is also to be enjoyed, create, innovate and be happy, right?

Well, here is the conundrum:  how do we sustain inner stability, balance, happiness and creativity whilst giving our best in life?  Best in performance at work, in sports, hobbies, in relationships, as parents and in the community? Quite a big ask, I found.

Being a responsible adult and member of the community takes courage, accountability and energy. Keeping up with the daily responsibilities and tasks often feels like it takes all hours the day has, thereby requiring our full attention and focus for every minute of it. This can sometimes carry a heavy energy, it's all about getting all the chores done and the tasks ticked off the list.

After all there are demands on us from all around that we must keep up with in order to be .... what exactly?  Accepted, recognised as a good human, respected and even loved? Looking at life through this lens becomes very easily very overwhelming and that is even without any tragedies life throws at us anyway such as health issues our own and those of loved ones, money worries, job security and relationship issues. Many describe is as the proverbial hamster wheel. You get on it and it just doesn't stop. Instead you just have to start running faster and faster.

• How often do you find yourself missing spontaneity, silly giggles and space to create that you used to have and do when you were younger?
• When have you found yourself excusing yourself for not doing what you love, for example: playing music, play with paints or pens, craft or do yoga, because you don't have time?
• Have you been wondering when you started to become so serious and stale? Perhaps you ask yourself since when and how you became so set in your ways of thinking, maybe even judgmental and risk averse.

What happened to that little girl/boy in you that used to pop up at the most inappropriate times to have a bit of fun, naughtiness and banter? Do you wonder where and how it got lost?

The thing is life just carries us away and if we are not careful we get sucked into this void of the hamster wheel. Giving us the illusion of not having any choices, when actually that is exactly what gives this thought the meaning that there truly aren't any options.

What caused this inner child of yours to hide? Was it the sudden increased responsibility that came with the job you chose as well as the family and standard of living to go with it which pushed back that little person more and more. Until it decided to stay in hiding.

Often in our coaching sessions we reflect on these questions in order to become aware of the moments where the appearance of the inner child would be helpful. Such moments might be when we are facing new challenges or changes. Looking through the non-judgmental and curious eyes of that inner child in situations that are new creates a state of flexibility and an openness for growth. Rather than being the adult that has seen all the risks and problems that can potentially happen.

Watch children and find out if they solve the same problem with only one solution or if each child solves the same problem with different solutions and they are all equally as valid.  Perhaps not with the exact same outcome, nevertheless valid and solved.

Have you ever watched children and their dedication and passion they have when they choose to do something like create a sand castle, paint a picture, role play. They are creative, passionate, innovative and determined. Above all they have masses of fun and make friends in the process.

The child on the swing is first fearful of getting on the swing, then about what might happen if it swings too high before it still goes for it and belly laughs of joy whilst swinging higher and higher and loosing all fear, trusting the process and their own abilities.

In relationships the world can become quite black and white if the spontaneity, curiosity and creativity gets lost. The relationships becomes transactional rather than relatable. Never is there room for hoppala's and belly laughs, dances around the kitchen, cake fights and other sorts of childishness. Instead the focus is always on the next thing that needs doing but isn't that how it has to be?

At work it is similar the daily tasks are all consuming and when an extra project or thing to do comes along it adds to the chores. Making it all very full on and predictable but not so much fun. We have to get things done. It is just what we do and there is no space for extras. There just isn't enough time, never!* *Notice the language in the last two paragaphs - they are full with mind traps such as: black and white, never, always, needs doing, but, has to be.

How about we change perspective and allow our inner child out to deal with some of these situations. What would be different?